


Fool's Mate

by uv_duv



Series: Love Bites [2]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Intentional Homoeroticism, M/M, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uv_duv/pseuds/uv_duv
Summary: Nandor teaches Guillermo how to play chess and the art of seduction. Guillermo wrestles with his jealousy over Nandor's new paramour and having to serve both of them."Later that night, Nandor ordered Guillermo to stand outside his door. The painting on the opposite wall helped distract Guillermo from the echoing sounds of thuds and moans in the room. There were so many little details, like the texture of the blade pommel and the audible voice of Nandor saying, 'Maybe just one finger for now?'"
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless, Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja, Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Love Bites [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839217
Comments: 12
Kudos: 84





	Fool's Mate

One uncharacteristically cold autumn night when Guillermo was 23, Nandor interrupted him struggling to dig a grave in frozen soil. "Leave that. I want to play a game with you." 

The frigid light made Nandor look especially pallid and ethereal. Guillermo wordlessly dropped the shovel to the ground. It was so cold that his beanie, multiple layers, and gloves still couldn't keep the chill from leaching into his bones. Nandor's statement was vaguely menacing, but Guillermo was grateful for the opportunity to go back inside the house. 

"Set up a table with two chairs," Nandor commanded once they were upstairs. Guillermo wasn't in this room often, as it was mostly full of junk the vampires had accumulated over centuries. He found a dusty table covered in towers of old issues of National Geographic that Nandor made him move carefully to the ground. 

"Why do we have all of these?"

"I don't know, I think I subscribed back in the 70’s,” Guillermo looked at Nandor skeptically, “Maybe I'll read them someday!"

"Sure Master."

"You are lucky I am in a gaming mood Guillermo, you may not be so fortunate with your next sarcastic remark," Nandor said, a gleam in his eyes giving him away. 

Guillermo found an ornate dark red armchair thankfully covered with a sheet. He shook the sheet out and started sneezing uncontrollably. More than a dozen times, at least. Nandor looked at him from a large cabinet he was rooting through and asked Guillermo, "What are these paroxysms you are having?", his brow lightly furrowed with concern. Guillermo didn't recognize the word "paroxysm" but could parse Nandor's meaning. "Oh, just dust bunnies," Guillermo waved him off. 

"We have a dust bunny infestation? You'll have to exterminate them, Guillermo," Nandor said, the picture of seriousness. 

"I'll get right on that," Guillermo replied, with a smile that he hid. 

Guillermo began to push the armchair to the table he had set by the window, but Nandor chastised him for scratching the floor. Nandor picked up the entire armchair himself easily, like it was made of styrofoam. Nandor's black cape billowing behind him as he walked completed the image for Guillermo. It encapsulated everything he wanted, everything he was working for.  _ Screw college. _

"Guillermo, stop staring and find another chair," Nandor chided. 

He blinked,  _ was I that obvious? _ He whirled around the room, spotting another chair in the far back corner. It was a simple wooden one that was somehow wedged between the top edge of a toppled bookshelf and the ceiling. He took a deep breath and started climbing. The creaking protestations of the bookshelf caught Nandor's attention, who appeared with supernatural speed. 

"This is highly dangerous and I cannot allow it," Nandor said, grabbing Guillermo and placing him on the ground. 

Guillermo gazed at Nandor a touch too long. The warmth in his eyes was for his master considering his safety and for the brief physical touch, all of which made Nandor snap back, "Those books are hundreds of years old and you were just crawling all over them! Think next time." 

Nandor had hesitated too long however, and Guillermo was getting better at recognizing his reprimands for what they were: defense mechanisms. A parry in their strange duel. He didn’t know what Nandor was defending himself from, but maybe someday, when he was also a vampire, he would move in for the kill.

"Sorry Master," he said automatically. "How should I get the chair?" 

Guillermo thought he saw a playful crinkle on the corner of Nandor's mouth but couldn't be sure because the next moment he was in the air. Nandor held him up by his feet with no warning. Guillermo lost his balance and cried out in fear as he fell towards Nandor, who caught Guillermo under his shoulders. Guillermo was flustered and embarrassed by his scream and general lack of coordination. 

"I'm so sorry Master. I didn't expect--"

"It is alright. We will try again. On my count…" Guillermo took several breaths, trying to quell his rising panic. "Three two one up you go Guillermo!" There was no pause between the numbers like there would be in a normal countdown. Guillermo's knees felt like jelly and his hands shook uncontrollably as Nandor lifted him again, more slowly this time. He braced one hand against the wall and took his time getting his bearings.

"Any day now," Nandor said impatiently, “Or I might jiggle you,” he teased.

It took some effort, but Guillermo dislodged the chair and held it in front of him. It looked like a surprisingly typical Ikea dining room chair. 

"Down you go." Nandor deftly let go of Guillermo's feet and caught him by his hips, plopping him onto the floor in front of him, almost like a ballerina. Guillermo's heart was still racing as he snaked back to the table and placed his chair next to Nandor's armchair.

"Ah, no," Nandor said, pushing Guillermo's chair to the opposite side of the table with a movement of his wrist. Nandor placed a box on the table. The top of the box had dark and light colored wood inlays forming a chess board while a drawer inside of it presumably held the pieces. "Open it and arrange the board please. I trust you are familiar with chess?"

"I've never actually played, Master," Guillermo said, opening the box and grabbing a handful of pieces. He stood them up on the table in little groups, dividing them by color.

"I'll teach you then."

Nandor arranged the pieces, white for Guillermo and black for him, and explained each one in turn to Guillermo. "These little guys are peasants. They are simple, moving forward one space at a time, although at the first turn it can be two if you wish. They kill other pieces diagonally, like so," Nandor said, swiping a black pawn diagonally across a square to demonstrate, "Oh no a peasant is attacking, ahh my soft organs." Nandor clutched his stomach for effect. Guillermo felt something in his stomach too. He nodded as seriously as he could manage. At least he could control his face.

Guillermo couldn't deny his consistent attraction to Nandor at this point, couldn’t for years. He knew for a fact that Nandor didn't feel the same way, so he coped by enjoying Nandor's unintentional flirtations and otherwise maintaining a world-class poker face. He was plenty used to denying himself.  _ Besides,  _ Guillermo rationalized,  _ I just want to fuck him. It's a harmless little crush. It's not like I'm in love with him. It's fine. _

"Peasants are largely disposable. But if an industrious peasant makes it to the other side of the board, they can become a king. A ridiculous concept in reality, but, well, it is just a game," Nandor scoffed. 

Guillermo knew enough about chess to know that peasants were called pawns, but did not correct Nandor. Over the course of Nandor's explanation of chess, Guillermo realized that he also switched the rules for the king and queen and thought bishops were candles ( _ I guess they kind of look like candles?) _ , but overall he was able to follow the gist. 

"Okay, you go first. Choose wisely, Guillermo," Nandor said, leaning forward with both hands firmly on his knees to meet Guillermo's gaze intensely.

"Go easy on me, Master. It's my first time," Guillermo said, returning Nandor's gaze and well aware of the double entendre but equally aware that revealing it would mean game over. He moved a white pawn forward two squares. 

"Bold are we? Well, only a fool expects mercy on the battlefield.” Nandor also moved a pawn forward two spaces. 

“Hmm,” Guillermo held his chin in his hand, squinting at the board. Guillermo moved another pawn forward one space, to protect the first pawn. Apparently this was the wrong move.

“Ha! I have mated you in only two moves,” Nandor plucked Guillermo’s king off of the board. He leaned back in the arm chair, looking extremely satisfied with himself, and toyed with Guillermo’s king between his fingers. "Very good, Master." Guillermo had to crush the space between his thumb and forefinger to keep a straight face. 

That day they had played several quick games, with Nandor easily “mating” Guillermo each match. Over time it became a routine. Despite Nandor explaining his strategies, Guillermo could not beat him even after months. Guillermo never made the same mistake twice, but it seemed there were an infinite number of mistakes to be made. He was genuinely surprised at Nandor’s skill, although he also figured that Nandor had at least several centuries of experience over him. Even though he never won, he still grew to love their games. 

His subconscious loved them too. After the first week of their games, he began having a recurring sex dream that more or less played out the same way every time.

_ Guillermo took Nandor's pawn, and Nandor threw off his cape. Nandor took Guillermo's pawn, motioning to Guillermo's sweater. Guillermo understood immediately, his heart beating harder as he pulled the sweater over his head. In the next few turns Nandor took several pieces without Guillermo being able to retaliate, leaving Guillermo very vulnerable with only boxer briefs. Guillermo finally got one of Nandor's knights, causing Nandor to take off his vest. He grinned lasciviously and unbuttoned his dress shirt for free.  _

_ "I have you now," he said, taking Guillermo's king. He pounced across the table, climbing on top of Guillermo, his broad chest crushing him, kissing his neck with cold lips and the suggestion of teeth, his hands peeling off his underwear, his prize. Nandor ran his hand over Guillermo's exposed hard cock and chuckled and nipped at his ear when Guillermo moaned and arched into him. Straddling Guillermo, grinding into him, rolling his hips to torture Guillermo, the pleasure in his aching cock nearly unbearable. Letting Guillermo run his hands through his chest hair, shifting to let Guillermo wrap his legs around him, unbuttoning his trousers to fuck Guillermo. Guillermo insistently screaming his name, colored with his ecstasy, "Nandor, Nandor, agh Nandor!" _

Once, Guillermo was certain he was going to beat Nandor. He had gotten good enough at chess that he finally managed to have more pieces on the board than Nandor did. He positioned his bishop to align with Nandor's king and was shocked when Nandor revealed that it was a trap.

"Guillermo, I am impressed! You put up a good fight, you resisted my mating you for quite some time," Nandor chuckled, clearly amused.

Guillermo was frustrated enough to not register Nandor's heinous innuendo. "Why can't I ever beat you?" he asked, exasperated. He slumped forward onto the table, his head nestled in his sweatered arms, looking up at Nandor from under his glasses. 

Nandor looked down at Guillermo with an unreadable expression. "You never make sacrifices," he said, gesturing to the pile of discarded black pieces on the side of the table. "In this particular game, I sacrificed most of my pieces to let you think you were winning and then took advantage of your over-confidence. I have done the same in war."

Guillermo felt heavy. "Was it worth it? The sacrifice?" he asked quietly. He regretted the question as soon as he said it. Nandor paused. His dark eyes flickered.

"Of course," he said, leaning forward over the table, grinning monstrously, his fangs gleaming in the candlelight, "Is that even a fucking question?"

\---

One night Nadja called a house meeting.

“Everyone, in a few hours I will host book club here. Please comport yourselves appropriately around my ladies of the night. I will need all the familiars for the evening,” Nadja announced. Guillermo groaned inwardly; this was going to interrupt his chess match with Nandor.  _ A little more notice, Nadja? _

Nandor was sitting on the couch next to Laszlo and said, “I’m not a fan of you commandeering Guillermo for the evening. A little more notice next time would be nice, Nadja.” She waved him off and clicked her tongue.

From the opposite end of the couch, standing next to Laszlo, Barry asked innocently, “What book are you guys reading?”

Laszlo corrected him with a wink, “Actually all gals, chap.”

Nadja shot a glance at Laszlo but let the comment slide. “Oh we won’t be reading, cute little Barry,” she laughed shrilly. Barry was neither little nor cute. “Book club is when I get together with my girlfriends to club victims with books.” Guillermo was surprised and then annoyed at himself for being surprised. “We like to catch up beforehand. Honestly, sometimes we just chat and never actually get around to it,” Nadja shrugged.

“...Could Laszlo and I join book club?” Nandor asked hopefully.

“Nope! This is my thing. No boys! Go, go, get,” Nadja flapped her hands at Nandor and Laszlo like they were birds she was shooing away. Laszlo just grunted but Guillermo caught Nandor’s offended expression. “Chop chop, familiars, make this place shine for my ladies!” Nadja commanded. Guillermo, Barry, and Larry scattered in opposite directions. 

\-----

Guillermo was still scrubbing blood stains off the stair railing from a victim that Nandor hadn’t even gotten to the cell before biting ( _ You were so close! Agh!) _ when the doorbell rang. Guillermo hesitated, remembering Nadja’s refrain of no boys. She could be so mercurial that he didn’t want to risk offending her by answering the door while being a boy.

“Guillermo! Answer the door, you useless lump!” Nadja screamed at him.

“I just-- okay.” He scampered to the door and let in half a dozen vampire women. Guillermo was stunned. Nadja’s friends were all absolutely, hauntingly beautiful and spanned both centuries and cultures. One of them was probably taller than Nandor, bald, with midnight black skin, a dark blue dress that was African in its patterning, and one long golden earring draping down her chest. Another had a side shave with multiple facial piercings and was dressed like a bejeweled Hooter’s waitress, short shorts, a tank top, and a short cape that were all deep royal purple. And there was the small woman wearing stilettos and dressed in a beautiful Renaissance inspired emerald corset that ended in a scaled long black skirt, her dark brown hair cascading over very well presented cleavage. It was hard not to stare. Luckily, none of them acknowledged Guillermo as they swayed in but immediately lit up collectively when they saw Nadja. 

“My ladies! Welcome welcome! Give the familiar your books,” Nadja indicated to Guillermo and he realized they were all carrying enormous books that would make Tolstoy die of jealousy. They piled them into his arms. He strained to balance the tower and looked at Nadja desperately. 

“Put them by the cell…” she flicked her head, and then immediately turned away from him, “Serafinaaa, girlie, I just adore your shoes!” Serafina, the one in the stilettos, thanked Nadja in an Italian accent and then asked where she should put the treats for that night. “Oh right over there, darling,” Nadja said breezily. Guillermo watched three hypnotized victims walk into the cell and Serafina flick her wrist to lock the door. He couldn’t help but be impressed.  _ It’s certainly efficient. _

Nadja directed her flock to the fancy room and then snapped her fingers in Guillermo’s face saying, “Hey, go get Larry and Barry and get in here.”

\-----

Guillermo and the two remaining “arry”’s didn’t do much other than stand and listen to vampire gossip.  _ Maybe it was the presentation that was important?  _ He had never seen Nadja bring Larry to book club with her at the other houses, so maybe it was vampire culture that whatever familiars the host had would attend to guests?  _ Maybe they were worried about familiars being eaten by the host? Was that a common problem? _ He could only speculate.

“Guillermo!” Nandor shout-whispered from behind the curtain. Guillermo was happy to leave and met Nandor in the foyer. “Yes sir?”

“Take one of the books by the cell. Any of them. And then meet me in my crypt with another, bigger book from upstairs.” Guillermo folded his mouth in confusion but followed the order. In the crypt, Nandor was surveying the gigantic dictionary that Guillermo presented him with and nodded his head in approval. They both heard the women’s voices coming from the fancy room to the hallway with the cell.

“Quick Guillermo, is my hair okay?” 

“Yes, it’s fine,” Guillermo said, plucking a stray hair from Nandor’s jacket and smoothing the shoulders. Guillermo noticed he had changed by himself into one of his most flattering outfits.  _ Hm. _

“Great, thank you, now watch and learn,” Nandor whispered conspiratorially.

“What are you--?” 

“Shh!” Nandor put a finger up to his mouth, gesturing to Guillermo to listen by the door.

An accented voice down the hallway said, “Nadja, my book, it is missing. Did the round familiar perhaps lose it?” It was Serafina.  _ Oh goddammit. _ Nandor’s plan was so idiotic, Guillermo refused to believe that it would work.  _ There he goes. _

With improbably perfect timing, Nandor walked out into the hallway and said, “My sincerest apologies, my familiar can be quite uh, stupid.”  _ Right, I’m the stupid one here. _ “Please, have my dictionary,” Nandor was the very voice of chivalry. From the doorway, Guillermo could see Nadja rolling her eyes. Guillermo rolled his eyes too when he saw Nandor brush his fingers on Serafina’s hand. 

It totally worked. Serafina giggled. Nadja looked at Guillermo with an understanding deadpan expression that communicated “can you fucking believe this shit”. He could not.

“And who might you be, helpful stranger?” Serafina asked, with a pretty Italian lilt.

“I could ask the same of you, beautiful stranger,” Nandor responded, all seduction. 

_ Ugh.  _ Guillermo dug his fingernails into his hand and looked away. 

\----- 

The next night Nandor had Guillermo accompany him on a date with Serafina. Green was apparently her color; she wore an expansive green cape, a different expertly tailored green corset, and a medium length dark green leather skirt with interesting cuts. Nandor made Guillermo carry the cape in his hands as they walked through the park. Two members of royalty attended to by their little pawn. They spoke as though Guillermo wasn’t there. 

“How are you acquainted with Nadja? I simply adore her,” Serafina asked.

“We go back centuries. I met, you know her husband? Yes, Laszlo, I met him outside a brothel in Berlin and we really hit it off. He talked me into posing for Nadja when daguerreotypes were all the rage. Moved in together the next week.”

Guillermo’s grip tightened on Serafina’s cape.  _ Where are those pictures, exactly?  _ Of course he couldn’t ask that. They continued to drift through the park, Nandor revealing more personal information about himself in an hour to Serafina than he had to Guillermo in almost four years. Nandor laid out a picnic blanket that Guillermo had to buy the previous day and then he made Guillermo sit in the wet grass. __

“You know Serafina, I was turned for similar reasons. Political coup.”

She nodded. “Yes, you understand then,” placing her hand on his hand, “For me, the hardest part was my own mother arranging my slaying once she knew I was bit. My entire family abandoned me.”

There was a minute quiver in Nandor’s voice when he said, “Yeah?” 

“Yes. It is why I refuse to keep the name. I am simply Serafina.”

“Anything but simply,” Nandor said in a low voice, bringing her hand to his lips. 

Guillermo checked his phone. 

\----

Later that night, Nandor ordered Guillermo to stand outside his door. The painting on the opposite wall helped distract Guillermo from the echoing sounds of thuds and moans in the room. There were so many little details, like the texture of the blade pommel and the audible voice of Nandor saying, "Maybe just one finger for now?" 

“Guillermo, come in please!” 

Guillermo tossed up a quick prayer and creaked the door open, yelling “Yes, Master? Did you need something?” through the gap.

“Guillermo, I need you in here specifically,” Nandor demanded.

Guillermo's stomach sank through his body to the floor. The color drained from his face next. His hands smoothed his sweater down compulsively and tugged at his shirt collar. His shoulders pushed the door open slowly, just enough for him to squeeze through, and then closed it behind him.  _ I can’t believe... Please don’t be a sex thing, please don’t be a sex thing... _

Serafina was riding Nandor on top of his coffin with her back to the door. Neither of them even pretended to slow down. The sounds of Serafina moaning and the wet slapping of Nandor slamming his cock inside of her were both deafening and made Guillermo’s stomach twist like a damp towel. Guillermo froze involuntarily, the sheer discomfort of the situation rooting him in place, grateful at least that he couldn’t make eye contact with Nandor, blocked as he was by Serafina’s body. She was so small that she practically bounced. Guillermo couldn’t help but notice how Nandor’s hands were grasping Serafina’s hips and how much he wished it were his hips instead.  _ It's never going to be your hips. _ Fleeting jealous thoughts aside, Guillermo mostly felt numb and awkward. Nandor’s hands glided away from Serafina’s body and onto the lid of the coffin and then waved Guillermo over. Guillermo had to actively remember how to walk, his feet felt like lead blocks.

Nandor’s eyes were glazed with pleasure when he turned to look at Guillermo. The image was immediately burned into Guillermo’s memory like a hot brand. Serafina flipped her hair to the other side and whipped Guillermo’s face with it. That stung in an entirely different way.

"Hi Guillermo, could you put our clothes away? And turn the pictures around? This is going to be messy,” Nandor said as casually as though he was asking Guillermo what time it was, “I'd also like some additional lubricant, the matching leather harness and strap-on set--"

"Which… one..?" Guillermo barely managed to ask. He couldn’t not hear Serafina lovingly comment on the size of Nandor’s cock.

"Laszlo will know, and then also a lemon." 

"O..kay.." Serafina had made it very clear she planned to cum on that cock.

“Lastly, and most urgently, I need you to tie my hair back,” Nandor said, propping himself up on his elbows. 

None of this felt real. Guillermo’s arm drifted to a drawer with hair elastics. Through their entire exchange Nandor never once stopped thrusting into her. Guillermo’s eyes were confronted by Serafina’s perfect bouncing tits, tiny wasp waist, and orgasmic screeching as he endeavored to gather Nandor’s hair into his hands. It didn’t escape him that her body was the opposite of his in every way. It was also impossible to miss the copious amount of fluid that poured over the coffin lid and dripped onto the floor as she came. He looked up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly, as if by blinking he could somehow wake up from the nightmare of this situation. When that didn’t work, a small flare of frustration translated into him tugging on Nandor’s hair and securing the elastic faster and harder than usual.

“Oh.. ah, don’t do that, Guillermo…” Nandor murmured. 

Guillermo blushed and stammered, “S-sorry.” 

Nandor waved his hand to dismiss Guillermo. Before Guillermo could move, Nandor picked up Serafina with a disgusting slick sound as his cock slid out of her and pinned her to the wet coffin lid beneath him. Guillermo couldn’t not hear Nandor say, “There is at least one thing I can still eat,” before he bolted for the door.

\-----

Guillermo took his time looking for Laszlo. He eventually found him doing his nails with Nadja in the library. He explained Nandor’s request and how Nandor had told him that Laszlo would know.

Laszlo did know. 

"I have to admit, for Nandor this was well-played. About goddamn time," he said, fanning his left hand to dry his first coat.

"Hmm, I don't know," Nadja swiped a thick stripe of polish down her thumb nail, "Nandor is on his way to being humped and dumped." 

"True. You'd think he'd learn."

"Oh but we both know he never does, darling. Never. Like a dog chewing his own balls. Oh this is fun, oh no my balls are infected, woe is me, how could this happen. Guess what he's going to do as soon as they heal?" Laszlo chuckles. Again, he knows. Guillermo felt relieved at their words, but also wondered  _ how many times has this happened? _

"Do we have any lemons somewhere? He asked for that too," Guillermo interjected. 

"He can have one from our stash, no?" Nadja said to Laszlo.

"What? No, get your own lemon. We may yet need that," Laszlo leaned towards Nadja. She smiled crookedly, blowing slowly on her fingers.

\-----

Guillermo could not handle the thought of Nandor potentially asking him to put on the leather harness for him, or God forbid, the strap-on for Serafina, and threw both of the items through the crypt door along with the lube jug and then ran outside as fast as his legs could carry him. The air was frigid and Guillermo could see his breath clouding as he panted. He looked up at nothing, held his head in his hands, and bent forward grunting out pained animal noises. He shook his entire body, as if he could get the filth of Serafina, his jealousy, his self-loathing off of himself the same way dogs shake off water. Sighing heavily, the cold air stung his throat. It also helped keep the tears back. He slumped his shoulders and begrudgingly set off to find a lemon at 2 AM.

An hour later Guillermo was walking through the foyer when Serafina, draped in one of Nandor’s robes, opened the door of the crypt. A large hand reached out from the shadows and landed on her shoulder. “You don’t want to stay for a cuddle…?” Nandor said, in a play at casualness that fumbled into desperation. At her silence, Nandor rejoined with, “Will I at least see you again?”

“Expect me tomorrow,” she said, patting his cheek. 

“Okay,” Nandor replied with a dopey smile. Serafina turned into a bat and left without another word.

Guillermo could immediately see the truth of what Laszlo and Nadja had discussed earlier. Nandor was already getting too pushy with this woman, too needy.  _ It would only make sense for her to hit it and quit it. _ Nandor finally noticed Guillermo standing with a lemon in his hand. 

“Guillermo, why are you holding a lemon? Get the sex squeegee and clean up.”

\-----

Guillermo survives the next few nights by clinging to Nadja and Laszlo’s words, that this wasn’t serious, and that Serafina would surely cum and run. The fourth or fifth night, as Guillermo is brushing Nandor’s hair and helping him dress for Serafina again, which felt pointless considering how quickly they would undress, Nandor tells him to find a better chair for the room upstairs.

“Oh I’m perfectly fine with it, Master.”  _ Are we going to play again?  _ Guillermo couldn't help a tiny spark of hope.

“It’s not for you, Guillermo. We need a chair suitable for Serafina.”

“Mmm!” Guillermo hummed in a strangled way. He hadn’t entertained that Nandor would not only stop their games, but then start playing with Serafina instead, no doubt with Guillermo in attendance. Guillermo had to suppress a flurry of jealous rage by biting the inside of his mouth.

\-----

Serafina clearly did not come to the house to play chess with Nandor. Nonetheless, when she was kissing Nandor against the stair railing and Nandor broke the kiss to say, “I was thinking we could play a game of chess tonight,” she had said, “This is foreplay for you?” Nandor had rolled with it and said “Yes.”

Serafina had been up front that she hadn’t played a game of chess in decades, and that when she had it was with an ugly vampire being ignored at an orgy. Pity chess. Nandor was undeterred and explained the rules to her the exact way he had to Guillermo, complete with the “ah my soft organs” bit.  _ Fucking hack. _ Guillermo crushed each of his knuckles in order. Once the game commenced, Nandor defeated Serafina in closer to ten moves compared to Guillermo’s two.  _ See? She’s at least five times better than you,  _ said the shitty voice in Guillermo’s hindbrain. 

“Shall we?” Serafina said, standing from her cushioned chair and smirking, leading Nandor out by the hem of his cape.

\-----

The next several days proceeded the same way, with Serafina humoring Nandor’s chess games and Nandor winning every time.  _ At least she can’t beat him either _ , Guillermo thought. One night, again primping for her arrival, Nandor said, “I feel her pulling away. Should I shake things up a bit? Is she bored with me?”

“At least tonight, you could let her win the game,” Guillermo suggested. In the unlikely event that Nandor actually followed his advice, Guillermo didn’t want it to be too helpful.

Nandor looked appalled. “Why would I do that?”

“By letting her win, you say that you care more about her than about the game,” Guillermo said with no life in his voice.

“Pshh, I don’t know why I asked the perpetually single virgin,” Nandor sneered.  _ I don’t know either,  _ thought Guillermo. 

\-----

In a completely predictable turn of events, Nandor blew it with Serafina. While he had agreed to some of her date ideas, he still insisted they continue the games, continued to beat her every time, and then the final nail in the literal and figurative coffin of their relationship came when Nandor ran out of new sex stuff to try. Guillermo had the misfortune of being in their blast radius. 

“You are completely impossible!” Serafina shrieked at him, flinging her chair backwards.

“You are terrible at chess!” Nandor roared back, slamming his fists on the table and jumbling up all the pieces.

She hissed at him. “Who gives a shit?!” Serafina tore out of the room, flipping the chess board on her way out. Nadja appeared in the hallway, attempting to placate her and to not let this stop their book club meetings, but Serafina just screamed in frustration.

“Nadja, how do you live with him? He has an amazing cock, but then there’s the rest of him,” Serafina scowled through the door at Nandor. 

“Honestly girlie, I do not always know. I am impressed though, you made it two weeks. New record.”

\-----

Nandor had gone to bed on his own that night. That was for the best, because Guillermo doubted he could hide how relieved he was. During the day, Guillermo moved Serafina’s chair back into the fancy room and replaced it with his. He arranged the pieces, white for him and black for Nandor. In the silence of the daytime, Guillermo searched for the photos Nandor mentioned on his first date with Serafina.

He found one in a drawer in a different junk room. Guillermo wasn't sure exactly what he expected, but he was a little disappointed. The image was of Nandor, in Ottoman costume, laying on his side in midair.  _ Didn't people have to pose for these for a long time?  _ Closing the drawer on the picture, he continued searching and found another one that was immediately more arresting. Nandor, bare chested, his hands behind his head and smoldering at the camera.  _ Wow. _ Guillermo let himself imagine for an instant, smoldering at him…

"Guillermo? Guillermo I need you…" Nandor's call echoed through the house, startling Guillermo. He fumbled the picture in his hand, slicing his palm on the surprisingly sharp metallic frame edge.  _ Fuck that hurt.  _

"I'll be right there, Master!" he called back. 

He scurried to the downstairs bathroom and washed the cut, bandaging it as tightly as he could stand. When he met Nandor in his crypt, he saw that Nandor hadn't changed out of his clothes at all and was laying in his coffin face down with the lid still up.  _ Thank God I checked the curtains _ , Guillermo thought. At the sound of Guillermo's approach, Nandor slumped over the side of his coffin and moaned, "I really loved her--" 

Guillermo began taking off Nandor's cravat automatically. "Did you?"

"You didn't let me finish, I really loved her tits," Nandor motioned with his hands sadly.

Guillermo took both of Nandor's arms in his hands and rearranged him to be more upright, like a doll. As he was taking off his jacket, he responded distantly, "Oh sure, they were nice."

Nandor exclaimed, "Guillermo!"

"What? I don't even like women…"

Nandor opened his mouth slightly in surprise and said "I would not have guessed you were a misogynist." 

Guillermo groaned but didn't respond, taking off Nandor's dress shirt and replacing it with his cozier sleep shirt. Instead, Guillermo decided to change the subject, "Why are you awake, Master?"

"I was going to ask you to do something for me that you've never done before. I think it might help me sleep."

Guillermo blinked. Of course his heartbeat quickened, of course his throat tightened, but then the excitement of potentially pleasing Nandor was tempered by the bitter realization that it would be as a.. well even less than a rebound.  _ A dribble? _ Was he desperate enough to accept being used in such a transparent way?  _ Who am I kidding, of course,  _ Guillermo thought to himself bitterly.

"Oh?" Guillermo managed from his dry mouth. 

"I'd really like a shoulder rub. There's massage oil there," Nandor languidly pointed to another drawer Guillermo had never opened before. 

Guillermo breathed a sigh of relief. He had never given anyone a massage before but considering he hadn't sexually pleased anyone either, this was a much less daunting task. Guillermo offered Nandor his unbandaged hand and he descended from his coffin. He also helped him change into soft trousers and set a cushion on the ground in front of the chaise for him, to generally be as comfortable as possible. Nandor sat on the cushion and Guillermo settled behind him on the chaise. Squelching the memory of the last time he put Nandor's hair into a ponytail, Guillermo grabbed an elastic and gently put Nandor's hair into a bun to keep it out of the way. Nandor had taught him both hair styles, modeling on Nadja's hair years ago. 

Guillermo patted the bun and then slid Nandor's night shirt off of his shoulders. He was relieved he was behind Nandor, that he didn't have to be so careful with his facial expressions. Nandor's broad shoulders were beautiful and Guillermo was definitely going to enjoy this. Shaking the bottle of massage oil, he traced a line across Nandor's shoulders and delighted in Nandor's little shiver at the cold liquid. Guillermo spread it around with his fingers and started to dig into the flesh between Nandor's shoulder blades and his neck. It was a thrill hearing Nandor moan in pleasure. "Yes that's very tight Guillermo… That feels so nice…" Nandor relaxed and leaned further against him, into his touch.

The time melted; Guillermo could do this forever. He was following his own instincts, stretching tight muscle, pushing his thumbs into thick knots, and sometimes just stroking lightly. Nandor seemed to be in a trance himself, sighing and moaning in turn. Guillermo leaned forward, his breath on the nape of Nandor's neck, inhaling his smell and their closeness. After some time, it could have been fifteen minutes or an hour, Nandor asked, "What oil did you use? It smells so good…" 

This pulled Guillermo back to reality. Blood was smeared all over Nandor's left shoulder, Guillermo's bandaged hand continuing to spread it. It dawned on Guillermo that the wound must have reopened. How had he not noticed? 

He made to pull his left hand away but his wrist was caught in a tight cold grip.

"Guillermo… my Guillermo… Did you do this for me?" Nandor asked in a very low voice that almost made Guillermo hard then and there.

"Yes," Guillermo said into his ear, against every rational thought in his mind.  _ My Guillermo…  _ He would murder to hear Nandor say that again. 

Nandor unwinded the bandage slowly, seeming to savor the process of unwrapping a present. He brought Guillermo's hand up to his mouth and lightly kissed it, which sent electricity up and down Guillermo's entire being. Nandor's cool tongue wetly pressed against the cut and at the first taste Nandor shuddered. He took a lick, and then another lick, and then probed inside the cut deeper with his tongue, the pain burning Guillermo gloriously. 

Guillermo was laying his head against Nandor's neck, trying to angle his groin an appropriate distance away from Nandor’s back. He was hopelessly hard and didn't want to ruin this. His right hand trailed to Nandor's chest, lightly stroking the thick black hair that he knew was there. Nandor didn't stop him. Guillermo was holding back moans himself, especially at the panting noises Nandor made as he bit into Guillermo's palm. It must not have worked, because then, Nandor jerked him forward and tore into his wrist. The pain was like a searing river travelling up his forearm and fingers. Nandor gulped down a mouthful of his blood and exhaled like he was orgasming.  _ W-was he? _ Guillermo wished more than anything that he could see his face in that moment. 

After the next gulp, Guillermo tried to gently pull his wrist back, but Nandor tugged it back, drinking down more and more and more. Guillermo started to panic. "Master, please…" he whined pitifully into Nandor's ear. Nandor didn't stop, drinking and drinking and drinking and Guillermo finally started fighting, the edges of his vision going black as he pushed against Nandor to wrench himself away. With every passing moment Guillermo became more light headed and dizzy. A dimming light. He pounded on Nandor’s back weakly with his right fist. His legs couldn’t gain any traction on the chaise. It was all fruitless. How could he possibly have thought that Nandor would have self-restraint? How did he think this would go? He had just offered himself as a sacrifice…  _ I'm going to die, oh my God I'm going to die, I'm so fucking stupid...  _

He passed out, his body falling completely slack against Nandor.

It must not have been long because he woke up to the sensation of Nandor rolling him over on the chaise. “Guillermo? Wakey wakey, Guillermo,” Nandor jostled him. “Guillermo, this isn’t funny anymore, wake up now please. I did not give you permission to die. Guillermo…” Guillermo groaned. His hands felt so cold.

“Oh good. I would have been very mad at you if you had died. I’m still very annoyed at you, for the record. Your blood tastes incredible. You really need to work on losing your virginity or this is going to be a problem for me.”

\-----

Nandor left him there bleeding and went back to sleep in his coffin. Guillermo had to hobble out of the crypt himself. He was lucky, he ran into Colin Robinson coming home from work. He asked him to call him an Uber to go to the hospital. 

“Damn Guillermo, Nandor finally got you huh?”

“N-No…”  _ Finally? _ “...it was… a dog.” Guillermo lied.

“A dog that only bit your wrists?”

Guillermo looked and saw that indeed, Nandor bit his right wrist too.  _ Selfish bastard.  _

“Y-yeah. Are they coming, Colin Robinson?” he asked, quavering.

“They’ll be here any second now, Guillermo. Hang in there champ.”

__

\-----

After Guillermo was treated for his injuries and cleared by a psychiatric evaluation, he stood on the front steps of the house, gathering himself. He knew not to expect any kind of apology. He would be lucky if Nandor even acknowledged the incident. It must not have been that serious.  _ Maybe if I didn’t wake up, he would have had to turn me. Damn it. _

He also couldn’t honestly say that he wouldn’t do it over again.

He stepped through the door of the house.

\-----

Nandor wanted to play chess again. 

During the game, Nandor asked Guillermo, “What did you tell the ambulance people?” indicating the fresh bandages wrapped around his wrists. His tone was not particularly warm.

Guillermo took his knight and responded, “I said I was bit by a poorly trained dog,” glaring at Nandor.

“Mm. A decent enough lie.”  _ It’s not a lie.  _

Nandor cornered his rook. Guillermo retaliated by positioning a knight where it could either take the piece that took the rook or take one of Nandor’s pawns. Nandor took the rook, not seeing that it opened another avenue for Guillermo to take his queen. He took it.

“Clever. I did not expect you to make a sacrifice.”

“Well, I am learning from you.”

As the game continued Nandor recovered from Guillermo’s maneuver. It was winding down and Guillermo knew at the current trajectory that he would lose again. Nandor surprised him by making an obvious error. He paused.

“Are you sure you meant to do that, Master?”  _ Did Serafina fuck your brain too? _

“Yes, of course I am sure.”

Maybe this was some other trick that Guillermo somehow hadn’t encountered over their months of playing chess together. He was skeptical, but took the opportunity to set up a trap. Nandor responded bizarrely, by taking one of Guillermo’s pawns at the far side of the board to no immediate strategic advantage. 

_ What are you…?  _

Guillermo slowly met his eyes and checkmated him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am not actually a chess master. If you are, please read this with a forgiving lens.
> 
> Also, I did not understand the difference between chapters and series. I had posted this as a chapter earlier, but I think this works best as part of a series with Professional Boundaries. Both works can stand alone but do inform each other if read in order. Unfortunately, I had to delete some lovely comments to reorganize this. :(


End file.
